by Paula O’Kray, ladylovinherlife@gmail.com

Simple joys add up when it’s important

So, there’s a lot going on right now in the world. Too much. It’s easy to get lost in the mire of the mess, and that can start affecting your mental health.

What to do? Well, since you’re right here with me, come closer. I’ll tell you a little secret.

You, yes, you, can be happy anyway. You simply have to decide to be.

Yes, you have that much power. Let me tell you how.

First of all, ask yourself what you can do about these things? If you can do something, then do it. If you truly can’t, then accept it and let it go. And then, decide to be happy. Anyway.

How? Let me give you a few examples.

My bed is set so I can see the sun come up. My day begins with a beautiful view of the colors of the sunrise shining through the forest. That makes me happy.

As soon as I grab my glasses, a very happy dog runs into the room to say good morning, and awaits his morning butt rub. That makes me happy.

Depending on my schedule, I get organized for the day and look forward to what I’ll be doing and who I’ll be doing it with. That makes me happy.

What you focus on grows, so focus on the positive parts of your experience.

If my schedule happens to be empty, there’s a plethora of things I can do that bring me joy.

Reading a book provides a nice escape. I recently borrowed the entire series of Clan of the Cave Bear from a friend I have a weekly lunch with. I haven’t read it since high school, and remember almost nothing of the story. I typically don’t read fiction, but I figured what the heck.

Well I’ve basically become Ayla, the main character of the story. A five-year-old who is orphaned by an earthquake and adopted by a clan of Neanderthals. Not all are happy about this, and so goes the story of how she tries to fit into a society of people so unlike herself.

I didn’t feel like I ever really fit in either, so I relate to her many struggles. It’s a great story with lots of detail about the environment and what life was like in that time.

I even found myself handcrafting a sling like she uses to kill small game, which is against the rules in her clan since she is not a male and, thus, not a hunter. I can’t wait for warmer weather so I can get good with it. No worries, I won’t be killing anything, just aiming for a target on the side of a box.

Art brings me joy. I’m always looking for classes to learn how to make cool stuff, like hand-woven baskets. I also enjoy painting by numbers, the really nice big ones that are a little spendy. I adore drifting off to a zen state while silently coloring in little spaces as I sit on my back deck and listen to the wildlife around me. Cheap therapy, but very effective.

Music brings me joy. Sometimes I’ll put my Spotify “Wanna Dance” playlist on shuffle (and lots of volume) and dance until I’m exhausted. I jokingly call it Rage Dancing, but it’s great at uplifting your mood whenever you’re feeling down.

Here’s the thing. The joys add up and overcome whatever you’re dealing with. At the very least they can soften the feelings of sadness or distress you’re feeling, regardless of the cause.

Remember, this too, shall pass.

There are lots of ways to choose happiness. Lean into your community. Just get out there and see what’s going on. Say hello, start a conversation. You’d be amazed at what you might have in common with a new acquaintance.

Take a class. Be OK with being bad at trying something new. It’s not about being great at it. It’s about learning a new skill alongside other newbies and laughing at (or admiring) the results.

Help others. Volunteer. Buy an instrument that’s always interested you and learn to play it. It’s OK to play slowly and poorly. The point is that it brings you joy. Watch your favorite movie. Moonstruck, for example, always makes me wish I was born into an Italian family. Italians really know how to live.

Get outside. Get some fresh air. Nature is wonderful and beautiful and the best band-aid for your soul. It doesn’t have to be a big planned outing. Heck, just take your lawn chair out and sit on your driveway apron and watch the world go by.

Get a bird feeder. Fill it up. Get suet feeders. Chase squirrels away from them. Use binoculars to enjoy them up close. Watch them so well that you learn their language and enjoy their jokes. A cardinal made me laugh just the other day!

Declutter a desk. Or a room. Or whatever you like. Start small. Any little bit will make you feel great about it. Take a before and after picture if you’re feeling particularly cheeky.

Take a drive. Just go. Wander. Get some ice cream. Get together with a friend, a neighbor, a sibling. If they’re far away, give them a call. Sometimes we need others to remind us of what makes us happy.

Put on the radio and sing along. Harmonize. Make up silly words instead of singing the real lyrics. Buy some seed packets. Plant the seeds. See what happens. Try a new craft. Pick up an old one you used to do.

Find a dad. Ask him to tell you some dad jokes. Plan a trip. Even a little one. Give yourself something to look forward to. Buy yourself a new something that you’ve wanted for a while. Don’t wait for an occasion to wear it or use it.

Leave little uplifting notes for yourself. Stick them where you’ll see them every day. On your bathroom mirror. On your pantry door. On your rearview mirror.

Buy a toy. An actual toy. Play with it. Write something. Anything. Draw something. Anything. Doodle all over the entire page mindlessly. Then get out the crayons or markers and start coloring. I’m totally serious. You will be happy.

Take a walk to see the sunset if you’re not lucky enough to see it from your own living room window. Bring your dog along. Take some deep breaths and think about all the ways your life is good. There are many.

At the end of the day, turn the TV or laptop off an hour or so before bedtime. Straighten things so you’ll wake up to a bit less clutter. Use a heating pad or electric blanket to warm things up before you crawl between the sheets.

Fall asleep to the sounds of a thunderstorm, crickets, or whatever you like using Sleep Sounds, a free app with a timer so you can fall asleep to comforting, familiar sounds even when it’s the dead of winter.

The idea is, if you can’t find a happiness, create one for yourself. Decide to be happy, and then recognize all the little happinesses in your life. Make a list and look at it often. It all adds up.